#378: How To Have the Worst/Best Date Ever and Learn About Perspective
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
fucking, shit, people, stats, shirt, fantasy, shoe, game, good, podcast, league, football, call, auburn, college, nice, licks, talk, line, coinstar
SPEAKERS
Law (80%), Eric (18%), Speaker 1 (1%), Sweat (<1%)
Eric Readinger
0:01
Okay, we're recording. Are you ready?
Law Smith
0:03
Yeah. No? Yeah, I'm ready. Are you good? I'm good. Okay. So what equity podcasts are going to do this and Alex Jones voice?
Eric Readinger
0:15
Oh, good. Thank God, we don't have a guest.
Law Smith
0:18
So when I've got a podcast and streaming show, that are all crisis actors. We're the number one comedy business podcast in the world. Keep it up. Keep it up. Listen to us on iTunes, Apple podcast, Spotify. No guest, my God, dude.
Eric Readinger
0:36
You're gonna die. And then I got to do the whole thing alone. You got a dead body.
Law Smith
0:40
You got to take the pregnant pauses like cowherd Colin Calvert, or Jim Rohn. Where they're just like, are they like they still talk this thing on? Listen on iTunes, Apple podcast, Spotify. Hey, the numbers are going up. Yeah. And those are definitely legit. Yeah, totally for sure. But the numbers are going up. In August and September, maybe the highest month we've had
1:04
late money. That's all because of you
Eric Readinger
1:08
and some of our efforts. Listen to it's really sweet of you.
Law Smith
1:12
hook us up on YouTube. We're trying to get those numbers up as well. You do? No,
Eric Readinger
1:17
I don't put any of these on YouTube.
Law Smith
1:19
They automatically do. Oh, good. I knew that. Yeah. Except knew that except the problem is we don't do the description or the thumbnail. It doesn't follow it over. So I'm in I forget to go back and double back and do it. Hey, and we're on only fans anyway. Oh, that's fun. And we're on substack I need to figure out how to automate all that stuff. Hey, longest intro ever. That's fine. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. So you're all in one. Website Builder content management system. Don't use Wix. Don't use Weebly don't use WordPress. If you don't need to code a site, it's all drag and drop. Now they got fluid engine. You know what that is? Ooh, sounds sexy. I don't know what it is, is the thing you've wanted the whole time we've done 200 squarespace Well, what is it? You can you don't have to have to work within a template and B find it Oh, that you can just start from scratch everything. Well, they have templates for every section now. But now you can just fluidly move any content around the site no coding needed. Yeah, they should have done that. It's one grid like your like your old math workbook. It's just like a graph paper now to have everything around. So Squarespace I hit up the the the link in the show description. And we'll do a lot better than this intro why No. Well, let's get it started. How do you tell
Eric Readinger
2:41
it? What No, that's
Law Smith
2:52
my sweat equity nice, Molly. Oh, yeah, I
Eric Readinger
3:06
can do all my things now. Yes.
Law Smith
3:09
He would like between Florida State's game against LSU that's actually my first thought was Decker Hoff. I wish they had the audio for now because he used to call the Bucs and Florida State. Oh man, that Florida State game was incredible.
Eric Readinger
3:25
I just would love to see how much spitting he does sound so sloppy, and the bucks.
Law Smith
3:30
The bucks versus the Cowboys would have been great to hear his audio clips from that too.
Eric Readinger
3:35
Yeah, I was a fan of suck up this week. Oh, football already? How did you do? Mine? Yeah,
Law Smith
3:42
I lost because of DK Metcalf last night. Yes. Well,
Eric Readinger
3:47
you know the name was the team name time.
Law Smith
3:49
Oh, well, ours isn't I like witty on a universal level. It's
Eric Readinger
3:55
it's like you cut to the core of who they are as a person to train everybody
Law Smith
3:58
know everybody's team. Yeah, everybody's team name in my league, because we're all friends since high school. And like, really? I wouldn't. I love I love all the guys in there as friends. But I probably wouldn't really talk to half the group as much if
4:12
we didn't have fantasy football. Yeah, right. So I have real friends. No,
Law Smith
4:16
the real friends. I'm just saying we're all dads now. You have less time. Like here's an instance I was making a an example of like, I don't know any new music because I don't go seek it out. Yeah, like you don't really have the time to make a new friends. No to like no to go like to see everybody you want to hang out with and the same thing goes for music. Like you can't go to as many concerts when you have kids. You can't like you just don't give a shit about bands as much because you you get it's like NFL players were older than all of them except for Tom Brady. I know. And so it's like, it sounds like How about
Eric Readinger
4:53
Aaron Rodgers? Is it gonna? He's our age I think no, I know. But is he even going to give a shit anymore? He's playing Like you don't get like the Ayahuasca did something.
5:02
Oh, like, what's the point?
Law Smith
5:03
Well, he got a lot of flack for going on Rogan talking about it. But
Eric Readinger
5:07
yeah, now he better play like a badass, you know, or it's gonna be a total disaster.
Law Smith
5:12
And it was like a, it was a three hour talk. And the beauty of will the beauty of Rogan is that third hour everybody lets their guard down to have that talk about ayahuasca, right? Like, that part is a tiny chunk. The first two hours are all about COVID and his issues with oh, great, now we're gonna get demonetized on YouTube brought up COVID
Eric Readinger
5:34
Oh, man, you're the one who did it. You said not to do it.
Law Smith
5:37
And and if you bring up anything controversial, like, I love Republicans, it might you might get demonetised to write our genders. Or if I like to say like, you know, I love sounding where I put a nail of my penis hole. You know, that can get demonetised as well your video if it's within the first 10 minutes and you cuss that. That's my understanding that if you are monetized with a podcast, it'll get demonetized do they call it
Eric Readinger
6:07
sounding? Because the sound you make is indescribable,
Law Smith
6:11
you know, great question. Why don't you Google that on your I
Eric Readinger
6:15
try and do it on mine.
Law Smith
6:17
But yeah, think about that, like a tiny railroad spike. Just know. So our team names are all hates on other people in the league. So it's all kind of inside jokes. Mine is Milo still beats off to King magazine? Because
Eric Readinger
6:31
Sweet Jesus. What does it even mean?
Law Smith
6:34
It's an inside joke because we rent in high school. We walked in his room and he was jerking it to like some like black
Eric Readinger
6:45
porn, I guess. And I was like the small business owners know about it. Well,
Law Smith
6:49
look, we were ninth grade probably so big deal.
Eric Readinger
6:52
There's no rules in ninth grade. That's fine.
Law Smith
6:54
But it could have been anything, but we just don't say Secondly, we just latched on to that. Like, just because you're assholes. Like, if there's any adjective about what happened, like whatever he was into, it would have been just like, we just make fun of that forever. I guess. It could have been like, straight missionary sex and be like, fucking plain Jane. Yeah, no.
Eric Readinger
7:16
I was proud of Czechoslovakia
Law Smith
7:20
for Czechoslovakia? Yeah.
Eric Readinger
7:21
Check out so do that or particularly yourself before you record yourself. That's pretty
Law Smith
7:27
good. I had one that which is
Eric Readinger
7:29
better though. I already did the thumbnail was Andy Reid. Yeah, cartoon to Czechoslovakia and flag behind it. So
Law Smith
7:35
I do have one I have it for a week at least I had gotten a debate. A statistics debate with one of the guys in our labels playing well. How about this
Eric Readinger
7:44
fucking statistics debate?
Law Smith
7:47
Analytic we go. You want to talk analytics statistics and business people don't know what the fuck they're looking at most of the time falling asleep. Well, I know but I want to give like a dumb. A Dumbo is guide to fucking stats. Right? Okay, stand sorry. I'm
Eric Readinger
8:01
joking. Like totally about it.
SE
Sweat Equity Guest
8:03
But fantasy is all stuff. It's a stats nerd game.
Eric Readinger
8:06
That's why it's not usable. That's why fantasy baseball is you don't even have to watch the games, right?
Law Smith
8:11
Because you have such a big sample size that the data is relevant.
Eric Readinger
8:15
accounted for. Everything you do on a baseball field is accounted for in their little scorecard.
Law Smith
8:20
Right. And then within our league, it's like, I started dipping into the standard deviation stats. Oh, Jesus, and I was like, it's gonna be I have to really think about it. Standard deviation. Really all it is is take if you have a bell curve graph, right? You have that middle.
Eric Readinger
8:36
They're losing me.
Law Smith
8:37
You know what a bell curve graph is? Yeah. Okay. You're gonna have the top like 5% Top 2% knock that out. Bottom. 5% or bottom? 2%. knock that out. So you get a better average. It's not that hard. Yes. Right. Like that. I think we should make
Eric Readinger
8:55
Why would you do that all by yourself? What the all that math? That's not that hard that you did do it all by yourself?
Law Smith
9:03
No, I just looked at they have they have it in yo. Oh, you didn't know that?
Eric Readinger
9:07
I don't even know that. I'm diamond level bug.
Law Smith
9:10
Well, we're in the finals this week. I
Eric Readinger
9:12
know we're not it's not the finals. We're in regular season. Last week of the regular season. We're in
9:18
the regular season finals.
Eric Readinger
9:20
I thought it was it doesn't actually matter or matchup.
9:23
No it doesn't. No, not really.
Law Smith
9:25
I definitely did not look I was just like
Eric Readinger
9:27
I know I was I thought we're gonna get you all amped up into it
Law Smith
9:31
as well. All right, I gotta make a run this is my time to make a run you know I need to I need to really focus
Eric Readinger
9:37
every drop some more good players so I can pick up that's fine.
Law Smith
9:41
But that that's part of the stats game. I'm looking at trends. I'm trying to I I'm trying to find a system looking thing sucks. Everybody wants to Moneyball no one drop, don't you? Everybody? Well, you we have six a week you can drop so it's like that's a lot. It's not like
Eric Readinger
9:58
you know that no, you drop some Stupid one so I did
Law Smith
10:01
I get drunk or glazed. And, you know,
Eric Readinger
10:06
I'm a genius. Yeah, I was going down I can feel.
Law Smith
10:09
That's what I was telling my buddy about. I don't gamble on. I was saying, I'm such a dork for football. Like, when you're our age fantasies fine. It'll keep you in the game, but I've watched all Sunday redzone Yeah, and I don't bet on games and my, my kids not old enough to play football so you're not like really in it through him? You know? Right. And so it's like vicariously through him yet. I was like, Oh man, I'm a fucking dork. I'm like a purist for football. Like, even if I was out of fantasy, I'd probably still watch all day. You know? Yeah. And I was like that I don't that's not a that's not like a grown man thing.
Eric Readinger
10:47
Yeah, it not though. In America. Like I feel like a real man. Like America on Sundays. Half the men are fucking pissed. Oh, no, that's what I'm saying. But yet friends are better than smart. smarter than me, bro.
Law Smith
10:59
real dads bet on games. I feel like that was my theory.
Eric Readinger
11:04
No, I think I think we're in the meaty middle of it. It's I think it's played safe fantasy. It's only $50 a year, whatever. But here,
Law Smith
11:12
here's where this kind of applies to business as well. It's like, I'm not good at gambling. I my ego will get inflated. Like, I am Moneyball King. Like, I figured out the system
Eric Readinger
11:24
rules are for those other people.
Law Smith
11:26
I idiots. I know the extra 2% code that will make me win all that stuff. And it's like, if I have a good week, right? I'll think like, I know, I had a college football
Eric Readinger
11:36
the extra 1.9% Since that guy worked his wife.
Law Smith
11:40
You know, we should see if we can get him on the show from prison. Okay, that'd be cool about Canadian prisons have like that a bill that'd be fun, got a cell phone in there and FaceTime him not because he's a good guy. But it would be a very interesting interview.
Eric Readinger
11:54
Right? And it'd be like the SEO value. And then every five
Law Smith
11:58
minutes would be like you're getting a correctional call from Windsor, Canada. It's one of those things were ego like you look at stats and you're like shit fucking this could work in customer acquisition, or lead generation or sales online or any of that you're looking at numbers or even just offline sales retail, right? You have your own. You have your own business that's retail. You can look at the numbers be like a fucking killing it dude. And then you kind of you get an ego about it. You try to double down on what you did short term to make that and you can fuck yourself over.
Eric Readinger
12:33
Right? Or you just keep on with what you're doing. That was just luck to begin with. Right? For whatever reason, seasonal shit something so there's
Law Smith
12:41
ego and then on to emotional about football and that, like, I like it so much that I my bias covers up because I'm into it too much. Yeah. Yeah,
Eric Readinger
12:53
you see it a lot with the hard knocks. People watch hard knocks and fall in love with all the players
Law Smith
12:58
that like I we are drafters like there's 10 lines drafted is every year
Eric Readinger
13:03
it's like that, you know, that's the guy that's the guy that's gonna meet you know, and it's just like they have to pick they pick the same roles of players to follow,
Law Smith
13:12
actually, like, not that bad for week one. Well, like I lost. Yeah, but I'm talking about fantasy wise, at least like our draft, like, oh, well, look, you have to look at angles to the emotions of other people in your fantasy draft as well. Like all bucks. Oh, Sherpa players get like a round ahead of where they should be
Eric Readinger
13:31
at least Oh, my league. I just I'm puppet master. I
Law Smith
13:33
know. Everybody's kind of right, everybody. So that's a real key to that's an ale no it that applies to business as well. If you can get the tendency report on on your competition like that, you know, you can outbid people right and get better value.
Eric Readinger
13:50
Yeah, my dues is like 10 years, literally 10 years of research. Just every year knowing what everybody is going to do. Who's going to take forever right to draft you know who you are?
Law Smith
14:02
Yeah, well, ours was interesting because we had I we use our zoom link for this show. I just sent it to everybody, so we could all see each other and talk shit about each other's houses behind like whatever's going on. Yeah, I got a lot of shit for having my degree on the wall. And I was like, I don't know what to do. It's a frame. It's really nice. My parents, what do you do with it? I don't have storage space. So it goes on the wall. Yeah. It was like, graduate and then I was like, you the guys that were giving me shit went to FSU. I was like, I wouldn't put an FSU thing on the wall either. Fuck you get it now, but I was like it's nice. It's it's got word phrases thing I have. It's the nicest thing on the wall besides a TV maybe but it's like, so before I forget, I had a good I had a debate. Because fantasy and stats it's all about what's overvalued what's underneath. Oh yeah, that's really where I break down a lot of it. Right. Right. Well, it's,
Eric Readinger
15:03
you know, game theory what, what? What resources there are and how many people there are to go around sort of thing. Scarcity.
Law Smith
15:13
You have to do resource audit. You have to know like, Okay, what do I have? There's
Eric Readinger
15:17
one good tight end. Yeah, yeah, I def first round.
Law Smith
15:22
I took this in the second and I was not looking good.
Eric Readinger
15:25
There will be another one in five years. Who's the only good one? Yeah, yeah.
Law Smith
15:30
We had five kept so I, maybe I maybe I jumped but at the I really tried to go value of everything. Like he was clearly the best guy to take at that time, right? Because we have a lot of keeper. So everything's kind of skewed.
Eric Readinger
15:44
Right. But again, it's about weighing who's next up? It's not about how good he is. It's about how's the next guy down? Well, but a big drop
Law Smith
15:54
off what I did, what I told you is I tear everything like, Oh, this is this is like tier one, tier two, tier three. And if you don't get tier one with the tight ends, two and three are gonna be rough. You're just gonna be waiver wire right?
Eric Readinger
16:06
So just wait to the end. Right.
Law Smith
16:07
And I don't want to get TONYAN another year I just the part and that's another thing. Pardon me get maybe took him because I don't want to worry about that position. That was my let me do my subconscious. I did it in my college fantasy my top 25 League. Talk about Super dorks right there that is dorky. We have to like do it. And it's like 300 teams. No, no,
1
Speaker 1
16:30
you do it top 25. Oh, well, it's easier. So there's 8000 paintings ain't
Law Smith
16:35
got eight guys. But it's all it's like almost old school. Because it's all like typed in as we're doing it your spreadsheet. And then you don't have you can't go look up any list, you'd have to actually like, spend a good amount of time figuring out
Eric Readinger
16:50
like, and then you're calculating your scores every week
16:53
on your own. Someone
Law Smith
16:54
else does. Well, you check your own score, just to make sure the one
Eric Readinger
16:57
guy got it. But it's not automated through Yahoo,
Law Smith
17:00
I actually have figured out how to pull a data import
Eric Readinger
17:03
just to answer the question. No, no, no,
Law Smith
17:05
there's nowhere we don't have it on anything. It's all like just it might as well be in the mail.
Eric Readinger
17:10
Now tell me about your data import.
Law Smith
17:12
I was like, actually, I'm interested. I was like, I bet I can figure out how to pull the stats in because I'm gonna go. I tried to do this 10 years ago when I got in the league. And it was like, there wasn't a way to do it into Google Sheets in a dynamic way. Right? Right. So it's like, I found college football reference.com, you can pull the HTML in to Google Sheets. Now I'm at the part where I have to make sure it lines up with the top 25 that changes every week. So it'll kick out. Okay, you know, I'm saying
Eric Readinger
17:42
I'm honestly excited about this problem.
Law Smith
17:46
Are you kind of you made? You made a good dashboard for the podcast? You
Eric Readinger
17:50
like, I can correct that. Oh, yes, there's gonna be but the
17:54
it's not my top price stats.
Eric Readinger
17:57
Because listen, I'm calling in sick to work tomorrow.
Law Smith
18:01
But it is one of those things where at one point, I was like, I could probably package this game to be able to sell to someone,
Eric Readinger
18:08
you would have to find that correct. website page that keeps updating that top 25. I found it that she called football reference. It does that top 25 only?
Law Smith
18:21
Yeah. Okay. No, I don't, it'll show all the stats from everybody. And then you have to party, you have to make it automatically parse out all the data. Yeah, I can do that. What you can so and then I have to code it.
Eric Readinger
18:35
And then you have to have each person in your league assigned to each player.
Law Smith
18:40
Well, so that I'm trying to piecemeal it because I was like, I don't want to spend I will spend four hours to finish it. Do it. Do it the right way. No, I was gonna do it this way. I was gonna go. Let's see if I can do it for my team. Right. Right. And then you sell it to them. No interest. Yeah. And then
18:58
that they want to kick me out.
Eric Readinger
19:02
And then and then you sell it to the guy who took your spot.
Law Smith
19:05
They've been doing this league for 20 years. I'm the last guy and that was 10 years ago.
Eric Readinger
19:09
Oh my God and I barely know grandpa's are in this thing.
Law Smith
19:12
It's my my one of my BFFs Brendan. He got me and I'm friendly and friendly with all the guys. They've seen me. He's got grandchildren so young. They've got they've gone to some of my standup shows back in the day. I met all of them like kind of once, but that was 10 years ago, probably. So it's one of the things I only really talked to these guys via zoom during our draft. That's weird. Well, like I think I told talk
Eric Readinger
19:37
shit to these guys. Kinda granddaughters stupid.
Law Smith
19:42
They're not no, it's fine. Yeah, they are. It's five black dudes that are a little bit older than us. And then you said that three super white guys. They don't like guys or
Eric Readinger
19:51
grandpa's?
Law Smith
19:52
None of them. Well, they might be. I didn't say that.
19:56
I didn't say that. So good. I
Law Smith
19:59
did So like I think I told you I made a joke that I was like thank God they laughed at it
1
Speaker 1
20:06
it was there's there's a good there's a receiver ready for it
Law Smith
20:11
there's a receiver on Ohio State is names like last name Smith height Finn like in gij a or something like that minefield and I go yeah I go oh thank god you drafted him so I didn't have to say that name and then like the two other white guys laughed right away and then there's a beat and then all the all the black guys laugh that was like thank you so much but it ended well. You want to know the best college football name this year? Yes. Now everybody's heard of the coldest, right the wide receiver. I think he's LSU now or Georgia or something. He's still in college when he was in high school in that story that mean broke. Okay. And he does now he does. Oh, I forgot about this. Now he does. Sponsored like he's in commercials for AC company. Of course. I was like,
21:07
that's allowed. What rules do
Eric Readinger
21:09
Yeah, that is cool. Get it?
Law Smith
21:12
What? No, you and I l&l college players get sponsored. Oh, I didn't know that happened last year happened last year like Bryce Young who won the Heisman last year. He's still at Alabama the quarterback. He made a million dollars off a sponsorship. Hmm, yep. For them. Finally, a TJ Finley Auburn's quarterback. Got me money. Got the first Amazon NFL deal. And then the next day got arrested. Pretty cool. That's my college. Yeah, Google Auburn keepin it real and our coach, Auburn's coach, oh, our ad quit? Because they said he was trying to look for an extension and they go they told him Hey, why don't we wait to see how you know the end of the football season goes in our team sucks so bad. He just resigned because he's like, Well, I know. We're gonna be a six and six Belk Bowl team. And then our head coach has a lot of grandmas on the side that are in college. That story broke too. He bet he brings chick college sticks at Boise State and at Auburn. So that's the coach. Brett. Brian Harrison. Yeah, he's one of those fucking disciplinarian bullshit, guys. It's like, Dude, we're never going to recruit with that kind of guy.
Eric Readinger
22:32
What was the guy from Rutgers? The coach the books?
Law Smith
22:34
I was gi Jean. Jean. Go Jean, the dancing machine.
Eric Readinger
22:40
Yeah. who challenged all the kneel downs? Yeah, he
Law Smith
22:44
was an asshole. He's like Tom coffins, baby. He had like red face all the time. And you got to be more like Lane Kiffin who's like getting in souped up Cadillacs to recruit like with fucking spinners and like hydraulics and
Eric Readinger
22:58
shit. Yeah. It was siano.
Law Smith
23:00
shiana That's it, Greg. Gene, he says, you know, shiana Such a nobody. I would call him his name. I'd
Eric Readinger
23:07
call him Greg or Jean shiana to his face.
Law Smith
23:10
So back to so the stat stuff. I was in a conversation I said Mitch Trubisky. Is it as bad as everybody kind of gives him shit for being? Okay, this goes back to get back that up. Well, I was going back and forth with the guy I'm against in fantasy. And he was talking about he's got the tight end for the Steelers. And he's like, I don't think Mitch can get on the ball. I go. I go Mitch made it to a pro bowl. He had nobody on the bears. So it's like, I go I looked at the stats and I go you know what, look at the stats. Like they're not
Eric Readinger
23:48
he actually I use one that I think got a bad shot at it. But this
Law Smith
23:52
is the this was the thing that people YouTube. It's that correlation isn't causation thing. And so like, people will look at a stat like average batting average, and money balls like No, on base percentage matters way more. Sure. And if but in my head still I look at average still. Because when I was a little kid I heard average my whole life is important. So you hadn't born so it's really hard to undo some bias you might have and so that's the emotional part. And when I used to bet on college football, like I I'm not good at it. I had to really I had to really come to grips I did a cultural about podcasts for seven years and I was like I know a lot of shit. I know a lot of what's going on except I I don't have the inside track. You have to have a you really have to have an old school guy. Guy on the inside you really do the only people I know that make money like betting on games right? They've got some kind of they've got an angle that there's someone's
Eric Readinger
24:56
on Christian McCaffrey step on a rock and in the parking lot
Law Smith
24:59
that There's shit like that. Or like Giselle and Brady.
Eric Readinger
25:06
She's kind of laughing at the hair salon by the way.
Law Smith
25:09
He he's failing upward because she's a billionaire. I was talking about this with my dad. I was like, you know, he might buy the bucks. Right? That's insane. Like he would be cool if they didn't sign a prenup. He's fucking even more loaded now. Yeah. And his ex ex wife. The first one Bridget Moynahan. Yeah, not bad. And he started but he started to look creepy. He started to think he got a facelift. I think that's what that 10 day break. Isn't might have been. You look
Eric Readinger
25:38
different now time.
Law Smith
25:40
He's got better hair now than like, when he was at Michigan. Oh, yeah,
Eric Readinger
25:45
he's definitely I mean, the hair transplants are legit.
Law Smith
25:47
But he's starting to look like not Joan Rivers, but it's
Eric Readinger
25:53
getting like injections and shit. Yeah, it's like, Dude,
Law Smith
25:56
he's on my shirt. I'm still a fan. I don't care. I don't he could have fucking acne. I don't give a fuck.
Eric Readinger
26:01
I know. Yeah, just keep nerding out on football. shirts. I'm wearing the gift. For my birthday.
Law Smith
26:08
I was like, that looks familiar. I've forgotten you my shirt, bro. That's a $40 tank top. What? Why I didn't pay that. But that's my tag said Oh, because I can hope he sees the tag.
Eric Readinger
26:22
The I don't look at stuff like that.
Law Smith
26:24
No, I know. The. But I was trying to think of a good fantasy name. And that Trubisky truthers. I was like, gotta match this up. Can't fit. And I was like, I gave it a solid minute. You know what I mean? What do you
Eric Readinger
26:35
like? What? Like, oh, like he's the true like, yeah, he's
Law Smith
26:40
legit. Yeah, I'm a truther for him. Yeah. And I was like true boots. Third. You can't force it. Yeah,
26:47
I know. It's got it's got to work.
Law Smith
26:48
You can't push rope like a whiskey debt. Yeah. Speaking of whiskey Dick, I had small dick syndrome last night because my debit card shut down. Yes. Before Yes, yes. Yes. Before meeting up with a lady friend a new one. And
Eric Readinger
27:03
will remain out of this because it doesn't matter. It's such a good story. Now.
Law Smith
27:08
I try to I try to hide the innocent. But it's one of those things where every every because I read it. Well, nobody
Eric Readinger
27:16
carries cash on them. Right? That's that's cashes out
Law Smith
27:21
know what? Here's why I was embarrassed. I felt embarrassed. So my cards shut down because I had a fraudulent charge. I had like I found out later, earlier this morning that someone was trying to do $1,000 charge that looked like it was from Facebook. And I was like, that's not me. I don't have any ad accounts that go to this card. Like that kind of thing. And I had one from like, 99 cents for country something country rights or something like that. And I was like, they were like, I got the fraud alert. Good on them for sending me that. But they shut down the card immediately. Yeah. And I'm like, Oh, great. Now I don't have an ATM card. The banks. This happened at five. So I can't go to the bank. Yeah, I can't do anything. I can't move any money to like, date at eight. Okay, so I'm like, how many quarters do I have in my windshield and I went to Coinstar
Eric Readinger
28:14
Did you okay? You didn't do it that far? Yeah.
Law Smith
28:17
Oh, I've left out some stuff. I was like, I'll just save okay.
Eric Readinger
28:20
Yeah, cuz as you were telling me, I was like,
Law Smith
28:23
I took I found all the change I have in my place. And it was like, I like 20 bucks. I had to go to like, went to the Publix near me. It's broken. Fuck. Alright, now I gotta walk. Because it's a walking distance. I had to walk back. How
Eric Readinger
28:37
much gas did you have?
28:39
I don't know if gas.
Law Smith
28:41
But I was like, Okay, I'll go to the Spanish grocery store because I know they have Coinstar. Okay, so it's on the way to Ybor City. Fine. I get in there. It's one of those fucking alright, I walk up. It's like emo binari. Big, big guy. Really nice. Really nice. But like has pink hair. guy plays fortnight probably a lot.
Eric Readinger
29:05
I play fortnight
29:06
Shut up. Yeah, exactly.
Law Smith
29:07
And so OSHA thick. It's got the door open and he's fixing it.
Eric Readinger
29:12
Right into the Coinstar machine. Yeah, he's
Law Smith
29:14
like, I told someone not to put in stuff did and I was like, and I'm looking at the customer because you'd have to get the ticket and then wait in line and customer service. There's 20 people in line to get lottery tickets. Of course. It's all it's very Mexican, or Spanish. Oh, my God, dude, you're
Eric Readinger
29:32
so racist today, bro.
Law Smith
29:33
No, that was the lines. Everybody spoke Spanish but me and this guy. And I think he spoke Spanish and English that was talking to
Eric Readinger
29:40
okay, it. You're the weird one.
Law Smith
29:43
It's like CVS II moss. That shit is like, what are you doing? What are we doing here?
Eric Readinger
29:48
They're in old CVS is usually is that's where I'm picturing you
Law Smith
29:51
going to know. I'm going to love fresca. It's in West Tampa, which is really Spanish and it's Like the Winn Dixie of Spanish Winn Dixie.
Eric Readinger
30:03
All right, up to the D. Part. So,
Law Smith
30:07
I'm like, and it's like 740. And I'm like, Oh, wow,
Eric Readinger
30:14
so did you do for two hours?
30:15
I was working I
Law Smith
30:17
had shit to do. But I was like, trying to get some of these errands done in between whatever. I was like, I'll leave a little bit early. And it was still not enough time. So I'm like, fuck, alright, so have all these quarters already. The guy fixes it. He's like, he just gives me a handful. Because the ones that the guy he told that broke it did not put them in there. Okay, he's like, do you want these? And I was like, why wouldn't you take it? Yeah, I need quarters. I need queens. Yeah. So I get like, give me money. Yeah, I get 20 bucks. And I'm like, All right. Fuckin swinging. Dick.
Eric Readinger
30:53
So you waited in line. You got waited in the line? Okay,
Law Smith
30:56
I got there late Ybor money we met on on a corner in Ybor on Seventh Avenue which is like our Bourbon Street for those who haven't been there. Mr. Old office, ya know, me too. And, and it's I knew it should have been a bad omen when I saw the shoe liquor. If anybody wants to look up the Ebor shoe liquor. He's a guy. And as I told you, this was off air too. I've definitely dog cuss the shit out of him before because I don't mind that he licks shoes. That's his thing. That's the Spanish. I used to live in Ybor and he definitely did drug drops for people. Because it was like a block away from where I used to live. And I'd see him like in this AC area and thinking
Eric Readinger
31:39
about it is probably his gimmick. Why is this guy always in? He's always there. Right? So the cops Oh, that's just the shoe liquor?
Law Smith
31:46
Right? Yeah. Oh, no, no, he just does both. know, I know. But it's not a cover. He just likes to do but like
Eric Readinger
31:52
it's a good distraction. Well, for being in Ybor all the time. I told him I don't think you're doing weird. You love looking shoes.
Law Smith
31:58
I told him. He tricked me into licking my shoe like eight years ago.
32:02
He's like, you know, here's
Law Smith
32:03
what he does. And you get you have nice kicks. So this is how he would tricky he go. Are those what are those? What kind of shoes are those? And you're like, you get like, oh, yeah, this is pretty like you get like, Oh, thanks. These are the Jordan threes or whatever. And you're like these, like, Can you lift that up? Can I see? I want to see the soul of it. And then he's like, licks it right bottom of it. Good. Yeah, he likes guys shoes more than I don't care. He
Eric Readinger
32:31
clicked on my Jordans. I anyway, so you saw
Law Smith
32:35
like that he lied to me to do it. I wouldn't let him do it. You need
Eric Readinger
32:39
Honesty out of your shoe liquors? I understand. I feel
32:41
emotionally raped. Okay. All right. So that was the
Eric Readinger
32:45
only thing you just saw him? Yeah, I'm just saying he didn't want to lick your shoe. Yeah. Do you think things are different now i
Law Smith
32:52
That's a bad omen. I bought next to that guy we made we made eye contact. And I'm like, Man, I don't want to talk to him. And I just pretended like I didn't see him. And then so I'm like, I preface this. I was like, hey, my card shut down. I'm embarrassed. I didn't have like cash at my house just anywhere. You know. And I didn't think enough to like, I don't know, I I should have had something else on the side to be able to have it on your phone. Right? I couldn't move anything under the account. Oh, because you had use your debit card for Venmo or cash app. And I was like, You know what? I'm just gonna have to win this. And I I'm not gonna press too hard on this. I took Well, I told her like, you know, you're gonna have to be my sugar mama. You make it kind of fun.
Eric Readinger
33:35
Fun for them to you know,
1
Speaker 1
33:36
I'll pay you back. I'll pay you back. The whole thing. sugar mama are already in a bad hole. And I go funny.
Law Smith
33:42
I was like, I don't want to make your your your vagina any drier. But I do have a gift card to Colombia. Which is like the old school Cuban Italian restaurant in town. Like the anchor restaurant in the city.
Eric Readinger
33:58
Yeah. And people go there for their birthday. Yeah. Okay, stupid. Isn't that good. And I'm
Law Smith
34:03
wearing my Daisy Duke shorts. And my tank top, which is my outfit. I go by now. And uniform. We sit down at the bar. And it's like, okay, she was cool. She was cool with that. She didn't give a shit. And sit down. And they're like, at the bar and they're like, you you can't wear a sleeveless shirt in here. And I was like, they're like, she's like, before I could even say hi to the bartender was like, you gotta go. You gotta go to the hostess stand. You can't have a shirt with sleeves. No sleeves. I was like, Okay. And I go to the hostess stand. There's three chicks there at the hostess stand. I'm like, I was sent over here because I don't have by the way. It's an embarrassing walk to shame from the bar. It's a long walk through a lot of people and now I feel I feel like I have a scarlet letter.
34:51
Words. Yeah, they
Eric Readinger
34:52
weren't looking at you weird before.
Law Smith
34:55
Well, you know, I kind of looked like your cartoon anyway. So it's gonna like exactly and so Oh, finally. So I got a you have like a blazer or something because it's kind of a nice place. And they're like, No, we don't haven't done that in 2030 years. I was like, oh, okay, what do you have? And they're like, you get a Columbia shirt. You can keep it and I was like, Cool. And it was triple XL. So the bottom of the shirt goes past my shorts. Because I'm an asshole wearing short shorts. Going to bed and I hate T shirts where the sleeves go over your elbows. Yeah, well, some guys like can work can bigger, chunkier guys can kind of make that work. Like I hate a Gildan shirt or a Hanes beefy t, because they made the sleeve way too long. But this was my dad's shirt, and I'm 11 suit. Like, it's like, I'm playing dress up to go watch my dad at work,
Eric Readinger
35:51
you know, like pick you up and put you on your barstool
Law Smith
35:54
and I come back and the guy there's a fat guy talking to the lady friend I brought from and I'm like,
Eric Readinger
36:01
Oh, just go out with this guy. Anybody can get he's
Law Smith
36:03
wearing he's wearing a vest. And he's like, he's got sleeves under. He's got like, it's like a golf vest with like a golf shirt underneath. And he's like, Well, I got sleeves. And I was like, Get out of here.
Eric Readinger
36:16
Oops, I got sleeves and he left like this little kid over here.
Law Smith
36:19
I really said like go get out of here like now get it was just one of those guys is like
Eric Readinger
36:24
I want to talk to you. Intimidating your
36:28
dude. Oh, yeah, that didn't look like an art schmuck.
Eric Readinger
36:32
Hey, buddy. Yeah, I'm here with her yelling out and she's like, shut the fuck out. Don't tell people we're gonna go
Law Smith
36:38
this has a silver lining we I come in I'll say I had some some enhancements on me that were fun guy. Sure. And did a little micro dose and I was good.
Eric Readinger
36:52
Now you understand the universe and probably won't call
Law Smith
36:55
me back. That's okay. Even why can we is there a name now? No, I'm kidding. Okay. Do we have anything else? Yeah, I think we covered it. We did a lot of fantasy football talk.
Eric Readinger
37:06
That's good, though. People like it, I think. Yeah.
Law Smith
37:08
No, we haven't done one of these no guests in a long time, so it's good
Law Smith
37:33
you gotta do me a favor.
